Requiem
For Skyler
A warm .38. . . .
not so much happiness as escape,
concentration of a pain too great
for one fragile invincible boy
into one second, one motion, and then
one journey with no farewells and no return.
So far, so simple: long pain for final.
Like old lamps for new, who could say no?
But how many dreams did you kill that day?
How many gods took bullets unseen?
All the love in the world did not lift you up,
all the tears in the world will not bring you back,
but why couldn't you give tomorrow a chance?
Why couldn't you save one hug for yourself?
Life goes on relentlessly for everyone but you,
the world refuses to stop turning,
and though there is no why--
or rather, far too many--
still the word pounds
like a hammer against a bullet
poised to take out you and God
and the world as we know it and love it or leave it
(but who would have thought "leave it" was real?)
over and over with no end in sight.
The Lord be with you (and also with you).
We lift up our hearts, or at least we try,
and we look to you, eternal kid brother,
to keep God on her toes until we meet again.
Too late for you, my sky-blue baby boy,
but we seize the darkness anyway
and we cling together anyway
and we fight our battles anyway
and we do this in remembrance of you.
December '04