Proviso
(for A.M.)
Love me all you want.
You can even fall in love if so inclined,
For it's not from that I'll break,
But from the madness of not knowing
If I love or how.
It's not your love I fear;
It's not your love that dooms us,
But the uncertainty I will never have:
Against all odds I may fall in love,
But I won't know it if I see it,
And unkind eternal truth keeps me well blinded:
There are some places faith cannot take you,
There are some battles love cannot win,
And though I claim no predestination in affairs of the heart,
I fear my fear is a line your best intentions cannot cross.
So love me all you like;
I don't mind on my account, but yours,
For it's not your heart I fear, but mine,
And the dark places that swallow love whole
And refuse to return it.
July '05